Julie Saves the Eagles Game Review

So I got a copy today totally legally! and I thought I would share it with you all, so you know whether you want to shell out the $20 or brave IsoHunt:


Yup, I got the game. First, let me note that I have little patience for video games to begin with. I play them from time to time, but all in all, I'm pretty meh about them. So updating you all on the progress of it may be a bit slow going. But here's some screenshots and initial information/reactions:

I forgot to take a cap of it, but the opening screen has a very '70s font with the title, a menu, and some really psychedelic music. Groovy, baby. So let's start this righteous game.



China Town. You actually start at Julie's place. That's the long and short of the graphics in this game, too. There's a brief cut scene when you start a new game where Julie finds a note from Ivy, because apparently Ivy thought it would be funny to come into Julie's house while she was sleeping and challenge her to find her in China Town. Anyway, the bus stop can be used to move about the map, but then, so can't the map, so it's kind of moot. The only things to do on this street so far are talk to Julie's mom (who tell you Ivy is in China Town) and play a mini game where you sort beads that's painfully easy (well, the game [i]is[/i] for kids). Too bad I didn't think to start screencapping before this point!



Julie's journal, where her progress and tasks are logged. Wow, Julie's got a big day ahead of her!



Julie is describing Ivy to the random pharmacist. I think the funny thing is he claims he has never seen anyone who looks like that in China Town. Actually, he may be telling the truth: he's not actually a pharmacist, he doesn't read or speak Chinese, doesn't live in China Town, and is otherwise about as Chinese as I am. I'm not saying everyone in China Town has to speak and read Chinese and be as Chinese as can be, but it leads into a big plot contrivance where JULIE HAS TO DO HIS JOB FOR HIM. At least he comps the cost of the medicine she needs to get for Ivy's grandfather when she does. (Seriously, she goes all the way to the library to research Chinese medicine, when the GUY WHO WORKS IN THE PHARMACY wouldn't bother to learn to read the Chinese on the boxes of medicine.)



Ivy was in a dress shop the whole time, trying on pretty dresses! Unfortunately, despite how much these dresses are hyped up, you don't see any and aren't able to go into the store. The areas you can explore are painfully small, and there are very few places that are interactive, despite the tutorial's instructions to click on everything.



After finding Ivy, she joins you for your fun-filled Saturday of learning and exploring (also, the game is set on Earth Day, apparently). Or, in RPG terms, "IVY has joined your party!". Ivy promptly becomes window dressing: her own grandfather doesn't even acknowledge her when Julie talks to him, and likewise, she stands around playing with her hair. Really, that's what she does: stand around, play with her hair, and whine for you to buy candy. Please tell me Ivy isn't this bad in the books.



A mini-game you can play with Julie's grandfather. Apparently the goal is to remove as many coins from one row as you like, but you have to strategize so that the other player has to take the last coin. I lost. Three times. It's sort of like extreme tic-tac-toe/naughts and crosses.



And the weirdest, ugliest bunny ever. Insert your own Monty Python joke here. He hopped around until I clicked on him, then he just stood there. I think I killed him.

All in all, not much to the game. Just a lot of clicking around and hoping something happens, more or less. Talk to everyone, move your cursor around until a red circle appears, and that's all there is to it. I am pretty sure this is going to be a short and straightforward game. The controls are a little awkward, too: Ivy will occasionally stand in your way and you'll have to find a way to maneuver around her, or you'll click on one place and end up walking into a wall next to it. Controlling with the keyboard takes more time, but is about the only way to keep Julie moving correctly.

Also, there are voice actors, but they're incredibly flat and lifeless. You can definitely tell they just paid a few people $20 to read off a scripts.